Tuesday, April 12, 2011
~ suck me into the core ~
So I know you got married, and I did for a brief moment thought your wife looked pregnant in the honeymoon pics. And now I know she's really pregnant. I wanna be happy for you. But I can't. And for my own rights, I won't. Why? Coz that was suppose to be me. In another dimension, WE were supposed to be married. And now, you carry on with your life into this whole "blissfully married" shit, have a good job (I think!), have my favourite car (i hate you!), have a good wife (i hope not, really!) and very financially stable (well, you've always been, you lucky ass!) and where am I? Still at nothing. NOTHING! You have this perfect, smooth life while I have the same old shit. Eh wait a minute, not the same old shit. Worse SHIT! Why? Why is it always so hard for me? I read so so so many times and even tell myself a gazillion time that God knows I'm strong for all this shit and that's why He put me through it. But guess what? I am not strong anymore. There's a limit to how many punches I can take, before I actually lie down, face the sun and wait to die, and rot. And right now, that's exactly what I wanna do. Rot. Or go find a hole and bury myself. Or find something that can suck me into Gaia's core. I just wanna disappear. No trace. Nothing. I feel I have no value, coz I am not valued. You know what? I hate you. I hate all of you. I hope one day you regret this, you asshole. I really hate you. You ruin my life. You and so many other shitheads!
Posted by DiStUrBeD AnGeL at 9:11 AM